At some point Tuesday, the same day the US Soccer team fell to Belgium 2-1 in the World Cup, someone changed the “United States Secretary of Defense” Wikipedia page to feature a photo of US goalie Tim Howard, not Chuck Hagel.
Howard was phenomenal, making a record 16 saves in the nail-biting loss. But despite Howard’s defensive prowess, Wikipedia editors fixed the prankster’s edit by Wednesday morning, putting Hagel’s photo back in its proper place.
So we here at Intercepts felt it appropriate to pit the two men head-to-head in a few select categories.
Equipment: Edge, Chuck Hagel
While Howard’s Nike gloves are clearly more economical than the F-22 Raptor above, Hagel oversees the world’s most powerful and technologically advanced military.
Facial Hair: Edge, Tim Howard
This is an easy one. If Hagel showed up for work at the Pentagon with a beard like Howard’s, security probably wouldn’t allow him in the building.
Style: Edge, Chuck Hagel
In a city where a dark suit is the norm for civil servants, Hagel’s got flair. You probably wouldn’t catch President Obama wearing red a sport jacket in public.
Praise from Rivals: Edge, Tim Howard
— Vincent Kompany (@VincentKompany) July 1, 2014
After the US team’s dramatic loss Tuesday, Belgian national team captain Vincent Kompany praised Howard in the tweet above. Doubtful that Hagel will be getting one of these from Russian Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu anytime soon.
Popularity in Congress: Edge, H…..
— Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) July 1, 2014
We won’t go there. Let’s just call it a draw.
Hagel actually called Howard Wednesday. From Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Adm. John Kirby:
Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Adm. John Kirby provided the following statement on the call:
Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel called U.S. Men’s National Team goalkeeper Tim Howard to thank him for defending the United States of America at the World Cup. Secretary Hagel congratulated Howard on his record-breaking game and a great run in Brazil. He invited Howard and the entire team to come to the Pentagon later this year. He told Howard that with some training, he could someday become the real secretary of defense.
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